A couple of weeks ago, I was invited to attend a workshop on how parents can help their children excel academically. With two primary school students in the demanding local school system, you bet I want to know how to help them. And when I was told that the speaker would be Alan Yip, I was immediately sold.
Of course I had heard of Alan Yip, but I have not had the chance to hear him speak, in person or on Radio 93.8 where he is a regular voice.
I found him to be a very charismatic and inspiring speaker. He was able to connect very well with his audience. But more than his personal appeal were the abundance of tips and nuggets’ of advice you gain from his workshop.
For example, one of the challenges that parents and kids struggle with most is time management. Alan told us in a straight-forward, matter of fact manner: “you cannot manage time. You can only manage yourself.”
When some parents queried about their kids’ lack of enthusiasm when it comes to school work, he shared about the theory of R.O.E., which stands for Return on Effort to the roomful of parents and students. Alan emphasized that the positive outcome of ROE depends on our participation. The more you participate (effort or energy), the more benefits or profits you gain from it.
Whether your kids are doing well or not so well due to lack of motivation or little interest in school, insufficient encouragement from teachers or parents, personal esteem problems (laziness / low confidence), distractions in the form of iPad, TV or YouTube or situational circumstances like bullies in school, Alan says there are ways to change the equation.
How Parents Can Inspire Their Children To Be Top Students
These are Alan’s tips for parents to encourage their children and talk to their teens.
1. Accept them for who they are
Pull your kids towards you by loving them no matter what. ACCEPTANCE is key. Alan challenges parents to be present and listen to them with no interruptions. When times get tough, use humour to reach out them and remind yourself what qualities you want your kids to have. Change yourself, not them.
2. Nurture the Nature
Boys and girls are not the same. When boys go through a challenge, they simply try harder but will not ask for help. Alan advises going to them and understand what is the problem so proper guidance can be given. Girls on the other hand, Alan says, WILL ask for attention in order to get the guidance.
What is also helpful is to understand the learning aptitudes of your child. And did you know that it is a science fact that teenagers cannot sleep at night? As our kids grow, their physical development play a distinct role. That our clever brain has delayed the sleep patterns to cater to our teenage lifestyle? Hmmm… this explains why teens sleep during the day and study during ungodly hours.
These are just a few examples given about nurturing the nature. Alan went on to talk about the social-emotional differences between teenage boys and girls.
3. Help Your Kids Set Goals
Successful people and top students have goals that they achieved. Goals are exciting to them and helps them to do what the need to do.
4. Set Reasonable Expectations
Give rules a different name. The agreement should be clear and fair and mutually agreed upon.
5. Use Relaxation Techniques
It’s been proven that when the mind is relax, it is better able to absorb information. Try different techniques to help your kids relax — exercise, music or even humour can play a big part in building relationships.
6. Play Soothing Music
Just as we play melodies to the baby while they are in our wombs to nurture them, Alan Yip suggests we play soothing music like Vivaldi when our kids study. This kind of music helps decrease the stress hormones and helps them study better.
7. Drink Water and Ample Rest
While teenagers may have a shift to a later bedtime, Alan encourages parents to continue to establish constructive structures like ample rest time to ensure that our kids get enough sleeping hours. He advises that handphones should be kept out of the bedroom during sleep hours as the beeping of the phone may interrupt the children’s deep sleep and deprived them of their much need deep rest. He aslso advocates drinking water and staying away from soft drinks like coke or sprite.
8. Stress Coping Strategies – Automatic Negative Thoughts
Stress is good when it is within our control. Help your kids learn how to cope with stress. Alan shares about Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTs) that can drown and beat down anyone. Alan urges parents to be the “sunshine of positive thoughts”. Talk about positive happy things.
At the end of the session, Alan was happy to meet with the parents to autographed his book and answer any further questions the parents may have.
Thanks for the tips Alan!
The opinions written above are mine and are not influenced in any way by Alan Yip or his staff.
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Till our next post, love yourself, love one another.
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