Hijacking Our Kids’ Private Lives: Growing Up on Facebook

20/02/2013 Meiling Wong

“How will mummy and daddy bloggers affect their child’s future career prospects? What happens when prospective employers—or even the public—know every detail of their lives through Facebook? What if they want to become a politician or a celebrity one day?”

This was one of the pointed questions directed at me when I sat on a panel for Social Media Week’s discussion titled “Growing Up On Facebook.” As a parent and active participant in the digital space, I was invited to share my views on a phenomenon that many of us are complicit in but seldom pause to deeply reflect on—sharenting, or the act of over-sharing our children’s lives online.

As new parents, it’s easy to be swept away by pride and affection. Every gurgle, every funny moment, every milestone becomes content—adorable, innocent, and often shared within seconds on Facebook, Instagram, or personal blogs. Before a child turns five, many already have a digital footprint that stretches across continents and years—created entirely by their parents.

Most of the time, these posts seem harmless—smiling photos, silly moments, or academic achievements. But as our children grow and develop their own identities, relationships, and social circles, the narrative shifts. What once felt charming may later become uncomfortable, embarrassing, or even invasive. That toothless grin or hilarious schoolyard mishap might not age well when they enter adolescence—or the professional world.

The Long Digital Memory

We live in an age where digital footprints are permanent, searchable, and often out of our control. As a parent who blogs and shares online, I’ve grown increasingly mindful of what I choose to post. It’s no longer about just my pride or perspective. These are their lives too.

Our children are not props in our parenting journey. They are young individuals with the right to curate their own identities. The idea of privacy is becoming a rare commodity for this generation—and much of it is being stripped away before they even understand what privacy means.

A New Approach to Sharing

Today, I still share moments of parenthood online, but with greater sensitivity and consent. The tone has shifted. It’s no longer just about them—it’s about us, the relationship, the parenting experience. And most importantly, I now ask before I post. I inform my children of what I’m sharing, and where appropriate, I involve them in the decision-making.

Kelvin Ang, a fellow panelist and well-known daddy blogger from Cheekiemonkie.net, shares a slightly different approach. He likens Facebook sharing to the old-school practice of keeping photos in a wallet to proudly show friends. For him, blogging is a personal archive—a family diary capturing memories. His children not only know they’re featured, they enjoy reading about themselves before bedtime.

That level of openness and familial agreement works well for his family. But every child is different, and as parents, our job is to be attuned to how they feel about being represented online.

Perspectives from the Industry

Another panelist, Roshni Mahtani, founder of Tickled Media (which runs theAsianparent and pregnant.sg), offered a positive spin from a hiring perspective. She suggested that seeing someone’s personality through their Facebook timeline could help humanize them in the eyes of employers—maybe even give them an edge.

It’s a valid point. But it’s also a double-edged sword.

A child whose life has been documented extensively online may one day face unintended consequences. A potential employer, university recruiter, or even political opponent could easily form biases based on old posts. This isn’t about hiding shameful secrets—it’s about giving our children the freedom to define themselves on their own terms.

Teaching Digital Responsibility

Whether we choose to share or not, the reality is that the internet will play a massive role in our children’s lives. That’s a given. What we can control, however, is how we guide them to be responsible digital citizens.

Instead of obsessing over likes and filters, I use online sharing as a conversation starter. I talk to my kids about digital etiquette, online safety, and self-awareness. We discuss their comfort levels with photos, how many likes a post receives, and how others may perceive what we post. These discussions not only empower them but also help build their digital literacy—something they will need for life.

Final Thoughts

At this stage, my kids are still young. I doubt their future employers will scroll back a decade to find their preschool photos. But I want to give them that chance—to draw their own canvas, to keep parts of themselves private, to build some mystery and control over their digital persona.

Ultimately, the more important question isn’t whether we should post about our kids online. It’s how we do it—with thought, respect, and consent.

Our children are not extensions of our social profiles. They are individuals growing up in a world that doesn’t forget. Let’s give them the dignity of a childhood that doesn’t belong to the internet—but to them.